Someone needs to educate this child as to where chocolate belongs.

(in the mouth)

And according to Bridget, Hershey Kisses “taste like chicken.”

What?!

First of all, I’d like to say THANK YOU to each and every one of you who submitted an article for the June 1st installment of Root & Sprout. I realize you all have busy schedules of your own to keep, and the fact that you would take the time to help me realize a dream humbles me in a BIG way. It’s still NOT TOO LATE to submit an article. As long as I have it by the stroke of midnight in whatever time zone you live on the 15th, I’ll take it!!

I’ve debated posting what I’m about to admit to you all, dear readers. It’s an admission I’ve had to both my husband and a friend whose opinion I respect greatly. To say that I am anxious about Root & Sprout’s success would be an understatement. You know that knot you get in the pit of your stomach as you’re waiting to find out if your bid on the house of your dreams has been accepted? You know the nervous anticipation you feel as you’re waiting to see how many lines will develop on that home pregnancy test? You know that rush of adrenaline as you slam on the breaks of your car for that darn flock of turkeys in the road that has materialized out of nowhere? You know how every nerve in your body tingles as you’re waiting for Ryan Seacrest to announce the winner of American Idol? Well, add all those feeling together and multiply by 100. That’s exactly how I feel about Root & Sprout and how badly I want it to succeed. 

I realize not many people (myself included most of the time) are willing to write for free. Personally, I think “guest post” sounds better, but it still means the same thing: you’re taking time away from your own site to write something for mine. While I would like to reward each and every person who submits an article with more than just recognition and a link back to his or her site, I simply cannot do that. At this point. I have every intention of hiring a group of writers, as well as accept guest posts, but that might not happen for another 6-12 months. In the meantime, I am prepared to offer an alternative that I hope will be acceptable to the majority.

For those of you who submit an article between May 15th and June 1st, you will be eligible to win $25 in the form of a direct deposit into your PayPal account or in the form of a Barnes & Noble or Borders gift card. Likewise, anyone who submits an article between June 1st and June 15th will be eligible for the next drawing (and so on).

Don’t think of it as bribery; think of it as an incentive.

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Remember to sign up for the Root & Sprout newsletter by May 31st, and you will be entered in the drawing to win a Root & Sprout Tote Bag. I received mine today, along with a few Root & Sprout shirts from the official Root & Sprout store, and they are pretty C-O-O-L!

You can subscribe to the newsletter by sending an email to newsletter@rootandsprout.com with the word “subscribe” in the subject field. Get a friend to sign up, and your name will be entered twice. Just have that friend write, “My friend [insert your name here] told me what an awesome site Root & Sprout is.” (or something along those lines)

You’ll definitely want to sign up for the newsletter. Why? Well, aside from general announcements, there will be news and offerings and opportunities exclusive to the people on the mailing list. So sign up today!!

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I’m taking a few days off to start getting everything ready for the June 1st installment. There are articles to edit, articles to write, articles to move to the archives, pages to format (And I have ONE LAST school newsletter to complete. After two years of that, it’s time for me to move on from that project!!).

I’ll be back in a few days time. Until then, enjoy the rest of your week!!

This is how the garden looked a month ago in April. I doctored the photo quite extensively to make the brown appear a little more . . . green. April around here is such a colorfully dull month. At that point, my husband and I had yet to extend the deer fencing around the oval garden and bird feeder. Nothing had been done, really, except to clear away weeds and debris, and to start the seeds indoors.

A month later, this is how the garden now stands. I didn’t retouch the photo at all, so you can see what 30 days of sunshine and above-average temps will do. The deer fencing has been extended, which makes our total gardening area rather large. I used to *hate* the deer fencing, because it feels intrusive to the rest of the yard. However, I have come to regard the enclosed area as a separate room. I rather love it now!

See the stone garden bench on the left-hand side of the photo? Though I told my husband not to give me anything other than time to clear off my desk for Mother’s Day (which he did), he gave me the bench I’ve been coveting since girlhood. I have a thing for stone benches! He still needs to level it for me, but it’s a wonderful addition to the garden.

Here’s Bridget, the resident waterer, about to drench a raspberry cane with a bucket of water. Just a little drink, Bridget! Don’t ya just love that sassy look? I get it a lot. Actually, the sun was just in her eyes at that moment. Her shirt says Trouble Maker, by the way. While I don’t normally purchase clothes with such derogatory labels on them, I couldn’t refuse its accuracy.

And here are Hannah and Jacob, working in the dirt. Jacob’s sporting a lovely Transformers tattoo on either cheek (in case you’re wondering what that glob is on his face). Ian picked up a few pint-sized tools the other day, and they’ve been a BIG hit with Jacob. He loves the month between when the garden is open but the dirt is free of plants. He can get in there and dig to his heart’s content, and he’ll literally roll around in it. You should see the state of my bathtub by the end of each day! I’m convinced children don’t need a pile of toys; they just need a mound of dirt!

So the plants are enjoying their first day outside. Many people make the mistake of transferring their plants to the ground too soon, though. Between the cool temps, wind, and direct sun, you run the risk of killing what you have before it’s even produced anything. Peppers and tomatoes, especially, need to be babied.

I “harden off” my plants starting around May 15th (our last frost date), by introducing them to the elements for a few hours each day over a period of 7-10 days. I try to pick a starting date that is overcast and not too windy; I don’t want to scorch the plants, either by the sun or wind. At night, I bring the plants back inside. Each day, I let them stay out a little longer than the day before. Yes, the transferring from indoors to outdoors and back again can be tedious, but I sure as heck don’t want to ruin a month’s worth of hard work.

There’s not a gardener as itchy to get in the garden as I am. I’ve been pushing around dirt for the last month. Rather sad, really. Plus, my seedlings are growing so big, they really need a new home . . .

Bridget had another one of her butt issues yesterday. For twelve long hours she pranced about on her tip-toes, convinced she couldn’t poo. Bridget withholds, and her incidents of withholding are frustrating. Finally, at 1:17 AM (yes, AM), after listening to her say repeatedly, I give up (what almost 3-year-old says I give up anyway?), after having my nipples ravaged by incessant comfort-boobing, after being screamed at numerous times to stop talking, mommy!, after hours of my encouraging her in the dark that it’s okay to poo, she pooed!

Or, as Bridget said, Ahh, that’s much better! I poo-ed. (all of her action verbs have a pronounced -ed on the end: I swing-ed, I hiccup-ed, I run-ed, I laugh-ed, etc.)

None of the preceding story has anything to do with today’s post, other than the fact that she asked, while clenching her butt cheeks together, When are we going to Kannas? (Kansas)

As I was recounting the story to my husband, who sleeps in Bridget’s bed most nights because Bridget is sleeping with me most nights and quite the bed hog, I happened to mention that I wished my grandparents still had their horse tank.

Horse tank? What the heck does one do with a horse tank?

I look-ed at him with an expression that pretty much conveyed he was an idiot for even asking what the heck someone does with a horse tank.

You swim in it, of course. Duh!

I don’t know what it’s really called, but I imagine my grandparents inherited their horse tank from either of my great-grandparents’ farms. The horse tank was probably 8 feet in diameter and 3 feet deep. It sat on their back patio, and I spent hours swimming in it as a little girl. My grandmother would float on a raft in the horse tank while I pretended to be a shark or sting ray swimming underneath her (I was fascinated by sting rays at one point in my life).

In any event, they got rid of the horse tank some years ago. I’m not sure why. I guess it’s because the grandchildren who used it most, my oldest cousin, my sister, and me, are now all grown and married. There are no little kids left who find swimming in a horse tank to be a novel experience.

Still, I would have loved to have seen my kids enjoying it and then sitting on their towels in the warm Kansas breeze, eating a bowl of grandma’s homemade ice cream.

Not my agenda, friends. Your agenda.

Articles for Root & Sprout are due THIS week on Thursday, the 15th. If are are thinking about submitting an article, please don’t hesitate. A dear bloggy friend of mine (who shall remain nameless) actually told me that no one would be interested in what she has to say. And to that I say, WHAT?!

As parents, we need each other. Who else besides another parent understands the trials and triumphs we experience on a daily basis? With one glance at my Google Reader, I could tell you exactly what each of you has to offer. I could tell you exactly what is your area of expertise, even if you don’t consider yourself an expert.

Let’s see here . . .

I have experts in hospitality, lactation, running a business, raising twins, infertility, being a single mom, being pregnant, raising autistic children, raising a child with Down Syndrome, homeschooling, making cool crafts, knowing how to entertain a preschooler, living sustainably, being fit and healthy, how to take beautiful pictures, being a stay-at-home dad, etc.

And that’s not the half of it! You have a wealth of information to share, whether or not you believe you do.

You think no one is interested?  For one, I am interested; otherwise, I wouldn’t be reading your blog in the first place. And I’d wager the comments you receive on your posts come from people who are just as interested in what you have to say as I am.

We all have something about which to write! It doesn’t matter if you’re a professional writer or simply journal privately each day. You are an experienced parent with valuable advice to share! You could write an article on why it’s important to floss your teeth. LOL! That’s something everyone should know, after all. You could write about how to fly a kite or share fun, outdoor games to play with your kids (anyone remember Ghost in the Graveyard?). These articles don’t have to be heavy. Think about the types of articles you read in Wonder Time or Parents or Martha Stewart or Mother Earth News or Highlights or American Girl or National Geographic . . . (you get the point)

Wanna know a secret? I write about what’s going on in my own life, because no one knows my life better than I do. I might write about how to protect your family against Lyme’s Disease, because we happen to live on heavily wooded property and have a gazillion deer, each one, of which, who could be carrying an infected tick. I might write about how to extract a splinter, because my kids are always getting them. Or, I could write about which emergency phone numbers you should know (yes, I’ve had to call Poison Control before).

So what are you waiting for??

Writing an article doesn’t have to be difficult or take long, I promise.

Read the Root & Sprout submission guidelines and help me make Root & Sprout a wonderful place for parents to visit!!

Thanks to all who have submitted articles already. Keep them coming!

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If you haven’t had a chance to grab the code for the linkable graphic below, please do!! It would please me immensely to see the Root & Sprout logo floating around the blogosphere.  

<a href="http://www.rootandsprout.com"><img alt="Root & Sprout"

src="http://i287.photobucket.com/albums/ll152/lisgarrett/002-1-1.jpg” />

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Don’t forget to subscribe to the Root & Sprout newsletter, your way to keep up-to-date with what is going on at Root & Sprout. For everyone who signs up between now and May 31st, you will be entered in a drawing to win a Root & Sprout Canvas Tote Bag. Send an email to newsletter@rootandsprout.com with the word “subscribe” in the subject field. Get someone else to sign up, and your name will be entered TWICE. Just tell your friend to say “[insert your name] referred me.”

**Take a peek at all the Root & Sprout products available to YOU!**

No, I haven’t done anything wrong, not unless you count eating an entire plateful of prepared-to-perfection tenderloin topped with sauteed onions accompanied by a side dish of steaming buttered sweet potato, chased down with marbled cheesecake a little too late in the evening as wrong. (my husband made dinner for Mother’s Day)

I have a confession to make: my husband and I still watch Desperate Housewives.

I know! I know! You’re all groaning and rolling your eyes. It’s slightly cheesy and over-the-top, but I have to admit I am hooked. My husband thinks I’m most like Neurotic Bree. Really? Have you seen my house lately? My sister, on the other hand, is a bit more honest. She says Lynette reminds her a lot of me. In season one. You know, when she is most frazzled and resorts to choking down a few Ritalin just to keep up with her mangy brood. Well then. Honestly? I feel more like Susan on most days, the one with good intentions but who is too often clutzy and misunderstood. She just can’t seem to get it right. I’m not saying our parenting styles are similar at all, but there is something about Susan with which I identify.

But getting back to Lynette. For those of you who don’t know, Lynette’s husband fathered a child (unbeknowst to him) with another woman before he and Lynette ever met. Years later, the other woman shows up with her daughter and, in true Desperate Housewives fashion, gets killed off the show.

In between those two episodes are many episodes in which the family struggles with the news and how to deal with these two “outsiders.” Lynette’s husband understandably welcomes his tween daughter Kayla into his life, but Lynette, understandably, has a difficult time accepting the awkward situation.

Like I said, however, Kayla’s mother gets herself killed off the show; therefore, Kayla moves in with Lynette and her family fulltime. Suddenly, Lynette has a new daughter. And they don’t really like each other.

I don’t like Kayla. She is an eleven-year-old witch. But I can forgive her somewhat, because her mother is dead, she’s now living with a father who hasn’t been a part of most of her life, and she has a step-mother and four other siblings in her space, as well.

But Kayla does cruel things, like convince the twins to set fire to a new restaurant and jump from the roof of their house. Lynette complains to her husband, but, like the dolt that he usually is, places the blame on Lynette and continues to believe everything is fine and dandy. Meanwhile, the viewer is left with shots of Kayla smirking mischievously or lurking about, overhearing juicy tidbits to which no kid should be privy.

Kayla is a player. She knows how to manipulate everyone around her to get exactly what she wants.

Long story short, the therapist the family begins seeing suggests perhaps Lynette doesn’t love Kayla and that they should start spending quality time together. To Kayla, quality time means shopping with Lynette and guilting her into buying expensive clothes for her.

And then there’s this scene, which I just can’t seem to get out of my head:

Kayla demands a corndog. Lynette says no. Kayla demands a corndog. Lynette says, no it’s too close to dinnertime, but I’ll get you a healthy snack you can eat in the car. Kayla demands a corndog, and if you don’t get me one, you’ll be sorry (or something like that). Lynette (shocked) asks Kayla if she’s threatening her. Kayla retorts, I got the twins to set a fire and jump off the roof, I wonder what I could get Penny to do? *Penny is Lynette’s four-year-old daughter.*

Lynette slaps Kayla across the face. Everyone in the department store watches, horrified over what just happened. Lynette apologizes but tells Kayla she should never have said such a horrible thing.

But you know what the really horrible thing was? In the split-second before Lynette slapped Kayla, I thought to myself, Oh I would slap her silly!

I can understand Lynette’s rage, Kayla threatening her young sister in such a malicious and intentional way. I imagine an eleven-year-old girl trying to convince Bridget to do something dangerous, and my mama bear claws comes out. My first instinct is to protect my child and eliminate the threat.

And holy heck, does this scare me!

Identifying and empathizing and justifying Lynette slapping Kayla totally goes against how I parent. It goes against my intentions for establishing Root & Sprout. I’m all about gentle parenting. So why, then, was my own gut reaction to slap that child across the face?

Anyway, in one of the closing scenes, you hear Kayla on the phone with the therapist saying that Lynette slapped her, it wasn’t the first time (yes, it was), and that she is really scared. You can imagine what will happen to Lynette in the next episode.

 Read some interesting commentary about Lynette and Kayla.

One of the great things about Mother’s Day is the homemade goodies the kids bring home from school and/or spend hours secretly crafting here at home. Today, Hannah and Jacob bestowed two such gifts on me.

From Hannah was an approximately 16×33-inch card (that opens). She drew pictures of the family on each page. The text reads, “I hope you have an excellent Mother’s Day! I think you are the best mom in the world. And I respect that even when you yell at us, you still love us. Happy Mother’s Day!”

If that didn’t make you chuckle, how about this?

From Jacob, a fill-in-the-blank card he made at school. *The bolded text was pre-printed.* Dear Mom, I love you because “ov evre thing.” Thank you for “mi skootr.”

Just in case you are unfamiliar with kindergarten-speak, allow me to translate. “Dear Mom, I love you because of everything. Thank you for my scooter.”

Well, those two have certainly made me feel like a #1 mama! Now if Bridget will just sleep through the night, I do believe that will be the icing on the cake!

Happy Mother’s Day to all you mamas!!

I’m taking the weekend off from blogging, but I’ll be back on Monday.

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**EDITED**

A few people asked when I would make a Root & Sprout graphic that they could add to their site. First of all, I’m flattered that you would even want to do that! Secondly, I can’t believe I actually figured out how to make one! So, please feel free to swipe the code below . . .

PS - I’ve had a few people contact me to tell me they can’t get the code to work. The quotation marks are a little screwy down below, so try retyping those. *For some reason, it publishes differently than how it looks in edit mode. Does anyone know why?* Or, instead of the copy/paste function, try typing it directly into your widget. Also, sometimes blogs don’t save exactly what you’ve put in, so go back to where you input HTML and make sure that it looks like the code below. Sometimes they throw in an extra quote or leave out a word, and it throws the entire thing off.

Yeah. Blogs are great like that . . .

PS - If you have Blogger, you can save the image and then use the “add image” to create the code (or so I heard!).

 <a href=”http://www.rootandsprout.com”><img alt=”Root & Sprout” src=”http://i287.photobucket.com/albums/ll152/lisgarrett/002-1-1.jpg” />

Well, yes . . . there are some changes happening on this site. Thanks for noticing! But before I get into the changes, let me interject a little aside (if only because I need some sympathy this morning).

Remember how my husband had food poisoning this past Saturday night? Well, we believe it may have been a rather virulent stomach virus instead. Why? Because I feel like carp, too. I’ve felt like carp-warmed-over for the past few days, but I’ve continued to plow through the week. We parents know there’s no other alternative. You go, go, GO until the kids are in bed, and then you collapse in a fevered/chilled state on the couch and moan and groan that you think you’re gonna die. I don’t handle stomach bugs very well. Reminds me too much of being pregnant.

However, I can thank my lucky stars I am not as sick as what my poor honey has been. He’s managed to plow through the week, as well, with nary a complaint. But my already pale-skinned, freckle-faced husband is an unhealthy shade of cream. Truly . . . it’s a color I’m not even sure I know how to describe.

Anywho. Feel free to comment and tell me how sorry you are that we are in such a sickly state. Our house has not been cleaned in days (although I have managed to disinfect the bathroom and kitchen plenty of times). I have not practiced yoga in what feels like ages. Even Bridget asked this morning, Can we do yoga today? I’ve been feeding my kids eggs and toast and cereal for dinner for WAY too many nights. Sigh.

They’re fine, by the way. The kids. Full of their usual energy and malarky.

I swear, this is some form of parental punishment. Both of us too carpy-feeling to really parent. That would account for why Bridget is having a toosie-roll pop at 8:30 in the morning (she did have a bowl of Raisin Bran).

Oh, and I have to miss my Mother’s Day Tea Party at Bridget’s preschool today. Good thing she is not old enough to know that we are missing it. 

So if you would like to join my pity party, just let me know . . .

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Okay. Now on to business.

I’ve decided that I’m going to end my “writing” blog. That doesn’t mean I won’t be writing anymore, though. Quite the contrary! I originally thought it would be best to separate this blog and the other, but I think I may have been wrong. My husband would pay a pretty sum to hear me admit I’m wrong. Well, I was wrong!

Hence the reason for the new banner. The designer did such a beautiful job that I couldn’t let it go to waste. And considering I have a perfectly wonderful domain assigned to that other blog (www.LisGarrett.com), I’m going to transfer that over here as well. I’ll let you know when that happens. So . . . you’ll have to change your feed at that point (sorry!)

ALSO. I’m not going to have a blogroll. Please don’t take it personally. It just looks so . . . cluttered there on the sidebar. Perhaps I’ll make a separate page for it instead. But do bloggers really click on blogroll links?? I don’t usually.

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A little Root & Sprout news: If you happened to click over to the site yesterday, you may have noticed that it looked a little different. Well . . . I’ve been trying to come up with a satisfactory solution to letting readers know when new information is posted. Unlike a blog, Root & Sprout doesn’t have a feed. I ended up installing a blog function on the homepage, but the feed for that, even though it worked (for most), was just a bunch of gobbeldy gook. *thanks to those who tested it for me!* Additionally, I didn’t really like the way it looked on the home page.

Therefore, I will be offering a newsletter subscription to anyone who wishes to be notified of general announcements and when new articles hit the site. You can find the information on the home page at Root & Sprout, or you can simply send an email to newsletter@rootandsprout.com with the word “subscribe” in the subject line. Of course, your information will be kept confidential.

Don’t forget I need articles!! I’ve received two articles from two faithful readers, but I need plenty more. I’ve had a few people ask what type of articles I’m in need of, and the answer would be EVERYTHING!!

Remember, if you can write a blog post, you are certainly qualified to write an article for Root & Sprout. Likewise, you don’t have to spend any more time on a Root & Sprout article than you would a blog post, so please don’t feel like you need to make a major time commitment to help make Root & Sprout a success. If you have an extra 30 minutes or can even spend 5 minutes a day drafting an article - GREAT!!

If that’s me sounding desperate, it’s only because I am on my hands and knees begging for help. I Ain’t Too Proud to Beg!

It’s the first Thursday of the month, and you know what that means?! It’s time, once again, to help out Fagan and NAME THAT BOW!

Now I know what feelings this bow conjures for me, but what does it say to you?

Put on your thinking caps and send your suggestions to Fagan at VerySweetBows@yahoo.com . Fagan will then choose a name of her liking and send the winner a bow of her (or his) own. In the event that two people come up with the same name (it has happened before), the winner will be determined by who submitted the winning name first. Perhaps you should leave your suggestions here before sending them to Fagan so that no one submits the same name (just a thought).

You have until May 14th to make your suggestions, but don’t delay! Visit Fagan at Very Sweet Bows to see her entire product line. And to learn more about how Fagan started her business, read her feature ad at Root & Sprout.

Remember our run-in with lice?

Well, what can I say? There are just some incidents that lend themselves to further exploitation.

Check it out!

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May 15th: submission deadline for articles to appear in the June 1st installment of Root & Sprout

*Call for Special Content* Father’s Day is almost here (June 15th)! How will you celebrate Dad? Please submit special Father’s Day stories, crafts, and recipes. Have your child write a letter to Dad, and we will post it here (on Root & Sprout) so the world will know what a special guy he is!

Now, I realize that it’s Mother’s Day that’s almost here . . . but publications, whether print or web-based, need material in advance, hence the reason why I am requesting Father’s Day goodies.

Put on your thinking caps and get writing!!